going

drinking my dinner tonite. had a healthy snack earlier. thought about having a child last week and my face didnt cringe. sights are bright right now only because i've relinquished control.  i havent had a really sweaty practice in a long time. nickolas was over last night. i'm gonna meet a poet friday night. thanksgiving is in between. november makes you want affection. november makes me want affection and someone in my bed. 

i doesnt need to be a special occasion to light candles. weird, but i'm on this trip where i see everything as fleeting. gratitude is the best choice for me because otherwise i can go to the dark side. i'm trying to make gratitude my very style. i let things come to me. my "fuck it" mode is back..and really..it's so me. fuckin hippie.

i love kissing.

it's a new moon tomorrow. sweet.

i think i'm back

for now. because i was gone for a while and not quite feeling like myself.  i've fallen in love with the poetry of derrick c. brown and wanna believe that i've gone through all of this solely to find what i have seen him write so well on paper. i can't explain it so i won't try.

     i think the answer for me is to just slow down.

I went on a walk this morning and waved to five firemen who were parked in my neighborhood. they are hot and i was happy about that. I tried to run a little bit when i was passing them because it got kinda weird when they all started waving while they were sitting in their big red trucks.  it was quite the exchange of waving and smiling. 

i'm good. just different. just kinda broke but have grown a lot. trying to get my priorities straight because i realize they have to change. gonna try new things.