fearlessness and peace of mind

that title is misleading.  that title sounds  like this might be a very deep and self-searching kind of entry, perhaps about courage and meditation. it's not. or maybe...whatever.

it's about love and about how yesterday after three events (a death of a coworker, watching the movie "funny people", and a poetry reading), i really decided on being fearless. fearless and foolish about laying it all out on the table. i believe it to the core: to love no other way.  he's gonna appreciate or not. frankly, i've been surprised that i haven't scared him away yet with other things that i've done. so, when i texted him this morning that i couldn't get him out of my brain and it was driving me bananas and that there was no reply needed, i didn't freak out about it. it's true and out there now. perhaps thats the best we can do: to let it be true and let it be out there. there is no other message. be fearless.

i will always be present...not in the stalker way, but in the way that says i'm stickin around regardless of who else is out there because i don't give a fuck.

as for the peace of mind part, i'll get what i need when i need it from other lovers, but nigga please. no one's foolin with the deepest part of me which belongs to you. 

i feel i could write erotica and thousands of love letters. 

i've never felt like this before: cracked out and jonesin' on the lovin'. powerless but with an urge to pay this feeling forward.

all of a sudden i'm hungry. it's because i haven't eaten anything today.

must

solve

immediately.

fearlessness and peace of mind.